In the front pew of the chapel, Ally-Ann O’Keefe and her husband Rudolf hugged their two remaining children, little Sally and little Sam. The couple sobbed at the sight of the chapel stage, which was adorned with multicolored bouquets, smiling portraits of six-year-old Susan, and the painful absence of a coffin.
Sally and Sam fidgeted beneath their parents’ protective grasps, sensing some atmosphere of grief but not fully comprehending it. And why was Suzy’s picture out in front? Where was she anyway? Some sixth sense in their guts told them the third triplet certainly wasn’t nearby.
And they were right. 5,000 miles away, in the small town of Praline, Ohio, a fruit merchant unlocked his truck to find a young girl, covered in grapes and reeking of excrement, sitting on the floor of his truckbed.
Words: 134. For this week’s prompt. Whoopdy doo. Didn’t know what to name the story so ha! Take some Ernest Hemingway, who I haven’t even read. Yes, I am a literary piece of trash.
The corresponding piece/sequel: “the ghosts of miners hill“.
✪ Angie
Nice job Angie. So sad at the beginning. Terrific twist at the end.
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Glad you liked it! 🙂 ✪
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Excellent job in describing the whole scene and the emotions . Great story!
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Thanks so much! I appreciate it! ✪
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Great story! You capture the grief of the parents and bewilderment of the children really well, with a great sense of relief at the end. I hope little Suzy is reunited with her family soon. 🙂
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Aw, thank you for such a nice comment! ✪
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A very well written story, Angie. I particularly like the way you focus on the incomprehession of the two children at the atmosphere of grief in the chapel. The ending brings the sense of relief that Suzy is still alive…but there’s always that possibility that the fruit merchant knew all too well what he’d find when he unlocked his trunk. 🙂
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Thanks so much! Ah, don’t worry, the fruit merchant had no idea. ✪
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I’m so glad to hear that! 🙂
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Don’t worry… IMHO Hemingway is dull as dishwater! Overrated. Try Tennessee Williams instead…
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Tennessee Williams! Can’t say I’ve heard of him before, but he’s definitely on my to-read list now! ✪
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Ok, I think I jumped the gun on my last comment. I see now that it’s a flash fiction piece… and an excellent one at that! Kudos
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Haha, that’s alright! Glad you figured it out! ✪
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Hello Angie, did I miss the beginning? If so, where can I find it? I am anxious to catch up and follow along!
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Not particularly. I have bits and pieces of a story, but they aren’t cause-and-effect by any means. There’s a related flash fiction story called “the ghosts of miners hill” that is set 10 years after this one. I suppose I could write this up as an entire mini novel, though… now that the idea’s in my head… ✪
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I think you should. I think you’re on to something.
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Hmm… Good idea… ✪
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This is excellent! Are you going to add it to InLinkz? Have you linked to InLinkz before? If you need directions you can write to me at mepricelessjoy@gmail.com. Your story is excellent and I would like the others to read it and they will be able to if it is in the InLinkz grid.
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Thanks! Whoops, I’ll go add it right now! ✪
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Thanks! I just read it and I loved it. It was so sad. 😥
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Aw, thank you! (But I don’t believe it will end as a sad story, so that’s good!) ✪
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Oh, I see, this is a continuation. Well today’s story was sad. 🙂
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Yup yup! Ah, I see. 🙂 ✪
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